News for Immediate Release
Oct. 29, 2010
El Presidente Milks Moose – Entire Canadian Nation Gapes in Disbelief
Montebello –Today in a stunning display of anti-maple leaf behavior, El Presidente Monteseur de la alegria baffled and disoriented a group of Montebello citizenry by milking a local moose, in what will surely go down in history as the poorest choice of diplomatic relations the Canadian Nation has ever witnessed.
“I just can’t believe he would ever do such a thing or that anyone would do that… Jesus, doesn’t he have any shame?” observed one concerned Canadian. “I mean, he just got down there with a bucket and went-to-town… It was awful…”
The gathered crowd was stunned by El Presidente’s quick action, while many observers commented that they “didn’t actually think he was going to do it”. A few even stopped their pickup hockey game in bewildered disbelief.
Tonight, the Canadian Nation plans to mourn the humiliation of maple leaf spirit as hockey fans everywhere are protesting El Presidente’s treatment of the Montebello Moose in question. An emergency meeting of government officials was called at approximately 11:36 a.m. to debate possible solutions to this nationwide disgrace. After the meeting one representative commented that, “war with Mexico, and the United States in general” could be a very real likelihood.
For more information, or to lodge a further complaint against El Presidente, please visit here.
Media Contact: Stephen Harper, 613-941-6900
Ah, the land of definitions. The palace where God’s and Great Men dwell. In order to properly communicate, to understand one another; humanity needs definitions. Without them, we cannot agree on anything, we cannot understand the information we are given, we have no real point of reference and are subsequently thrust into a world of fog and fear. It is distinctly this area where we currently find ourselves. Fog, and fear surrounds us, has so thoroughly permeated our everyday lives that we’re scarcely aware of it anymore.
Example of fog and fear from an actual conversation I heard this past week:
Susan: I don’t understand these gas prices. They keep going up and down, up and down. It makes absolutely no sense!
Bill: The last time I remember such fluctuation in prices was during the 60’s and Vietnam was on.
Susan: exactly! There’s no war now, I don’t understand why the prices are getting so high.
The fact of the matter is, we’re currently embroiled in 2 wars, these wars have lasted for over 9 years.
Fear makes people do strange things. Behave in strange abnormal ways. Even violent, uncharacteristic ways.
What is it that leads a country down the path to war? Misinformation, anger, a common enemy. A common enemy was discovered on Sept. 11, 2001. Misinformation surrounded the incident. Anger arose. Irrational anger, like a wounded animal we lashed out at anything near us. The entire world was united in mourning, and all we wanted was revenge. We drove away our sympathy with our anger. In the wake of this tragedy, lives have been lost. More continue to be lost everyday. While the country sleeps in it’s fear and fog, young men and women fight for it.
For some reason I can’t quite get this damn thing to read right. it won’t allow me to save. I actually wrote a really good post like about a few weeks ago but it’s all gone.
Regardless, the need to write about experience:
It was 112 degrees today in Gettysburg, I decided to go on a short run of about 2 miles. Around marker 1 I began to feel light headed, and my mouth dried out completely, leaving my throat feeling like sandpaper. I haven’t hydrated enough. By the end of 2 miles I was ready to quit. I didn’t realize how much heat exaustion gets to your legs and mind. It was a wonderful experience and I think I’ll do it again. About a half hour later (and numerous glasses of water) I went for a bike ride. riding bikes is a much easier sport.